Rollercoasters. The one amusement park ride I can still enjoy without losing my lunch. Happens with age, or so I have heard. I love every stage...from waiting in line (as long as it is a reasonable temp outside) to that last turnstile where they group you according to the available seats in a row. I love the click of the bar, the clink clink clink of the chain as it drags you up to the precipice of your wild release...the anticipation...and the screams that I would swear came from someone ELSE.
Unless you have ridden the same coaster over and over, most often it is hard to anticipate the twists and turns, and you just have to hang on and hang tight!
This journey I am on has been much like that hard to anticipate wild ride. The ups and downs, the joys and disappointments, a few bruises from hanging on too tight at times, and not tight enough for others.
The excitement of the "new" group of cousins I closed with at the end of my last post has not quite panned out like I had hoped. My attempt at communication via phone (an actual conversation) and snail mail has only been met with silence. For me, silence has never been golden. I would rather someone be painfully honest than to not respond at all. I am only wishing to learn more about that proverbial cloth from which I have been cut. As I lamented to a friend, she just looked at me, and rather matter-of-factly stated that she did not even keep in touch with her first cousins. I understand that, but honestly (and I really would love some feedback in the form of comments on this post), if you had a phone call or a letter from someone stating that they had been adopted and had just discovered that you were their cousin...first or second, how ever many times removed...how would you respond? I really want to know some honest answers!
I have been poring over my DNA test results, and I am quite honestly overwhelmed. I had hoped that the results would unlock some clues to my birthfather's side of the family, and the clues may very well exist, but Sherlock seems to be napping. When you start getting into 4th cousins, and you don't have a name to go on, the prospect of trying to narrow things down is HUGE.
Here it comes...a coaster high! I had a friend email me an article that was published in the Boston Globe about a woman steeped in her own DNA and family tree search, yet she utilized what she learned in her own experience to help other people connect. One of those reunions turned out to be sisters, and neither knew of the other's existence! How crazy wild is that? I had planned to just email this self-taught researcher for some guidance and advice, and as I dug to find her contact info, I also discovered that she lived in RI...where I myself will be soon. I have sent an email, and hope to be able to meet her for coffee and glean some wisdom in the art of genealogy research.
While I still plan to move forward, I am also trying to ease up a bit on the intensity of my search. This is truly a potential addiction, and unguarded it can consume your every waking moment as long as the questions continue to loom larger than life. Recently, I was thinking of a children's book written by Max Lucado called "You are Special". I need to remind myself again (and often) that it is only because of the God who rescued my very life and gave me hope that I still am here to breathe His air...
He is a father to the fatherless and He sets the lonely in families (Ps 68:5-6). I am who I am because of Him, as well as the people He gave me...precious gifts to my heart that have invested in me over the years. I know I am not alone, and no matter how the rest of the story may unfold, I am secure in my identity, and my place in the midst of my marvelous comrades!