Remember...

I am currently involved with a group of ladies who are going through Beth Moore's study on Daniel...WOW...I have always been sparked by Beth's passion, and challenged by the price she has paid to be where she is today.
About halfway through lesson 4 lastnight, I knew where I would end up. Once home, I unloaded purse and a few other items and hit the futon room. There was just SO MUCH going on in my heart! The video stirred and awakened a part of me that had been dormant for quite a while, and I am not even sure I can capture it in such a way to do it justice here in typed form.
One point was about loving the poor, and during discussion time I was reminded of the years in Orlando as part of a group called "Wilderness Cry" (Isaiah 40:3). There were about 11 core members which made up our band/ministry team. We had something going almost every day of the week...from nursing homes, to the youth ranch, jail ministry to the coffee house. Crossroads Coffeehouse on South Orange Blossom Trail. When we first started, there was an adult bookstore directly to the left of the building and a topless bar right across the street. We went down on Friday night, sometimes early enough to serve dinner plates, and when eatin' was done, they took up the tables and set up chairs, and we had CHURCH. We had some wild experiences in that little converted motorcycle shop...and memories that can still fan my evangelistic heart!
When I have more time, I will dig out some pics and post them, so you can see the faces.
What brought these memories flooding back was another lady sharing about her experience with a homeless gentlman, and how he had thanked her...for making him feel important...it reminded me that one of the biggest lessons I learned in my years at Crossroads was that we were not dealing with just poor people...we were not dealing with pitiful homeless people, or drunks or drug addicts...they were PEOPLE...created in the image of GOD...no less deserving of our love (if indeed our love is founded in Christ) than the most spiritual and prominent person in any church.
I think another thing that had already primed my heart was listening to Francis Chan the night before our study. Ed (who is currently a missionary to Haiti, and also the main one responsible for getting Wilderness Cry together, and also majorly influential in me even being a Christian) had encouraged me to listen to some of Francis' words on Youtube (check it out if you have time). He is a pastor in Simi Valley CA, and has alot of unconventional things to say about loving your neighbor...
Another part of the lesson was about Nebuchadnezzar's pride, and how that brought him down, even when he had the opportunity to change that course by acknowledging that the "Heavens do rule", practicing righteousness and showing mercy to the poor. Beth, on the video, very passionatley acknowledged where and who she would be without God, and over on the couch, tucked into my little corner, I was having a "deep calling deep" moment! I know where I have been, I know what God has done in my heart, and I know...(perish the thought)...I KNOW where I would be without HIM!!! It was a very humbling moment, but a catalyst for my futon time. I have two big responsibilities coming up, the first of which will be teaching Sunday school starting in a few weeks...and my heart cry was for it not to be one iota about me, and as Beth commented, to learn Nebby's lesson from the page, and not by experience...and I confessed that lastnight to the Lord...whether it is part of my dysfunctional childhood or whatever, I am aware of a need to be accepted, appreciated...to feel special...to be proud of what "I" accomplished...and that has so often interfered with what I may have been called to do. So let this new adventure be different, as I am honest with myself and seek to honor my GOD above all else!!
May you experience the call of JESUS today on a deeper level...
In Him - Bern

Time Keeps on tickin tickin tickin...

A moment to sit and write!

The weather of late has been nice...cooler...not even needing to run the air at night. Nice weather for cruising! I inherited my sister Lori's car from my other sis, Missy. With a gaggle of chillins and a rather burly hubby, it was not a practical vehicle. Whether permanent or temporary, we don't know yet, but while it is in my possession, I will enjoy it!

For those who read and enjoyed the lightening post, I found a very cool video and added it to my links. You can actually SEE all of the leaders, and the one that makes the connection! WOW!

I can't even begin to describe really how it feels to have construction finished and things back in place in my home! I need to publically thank Randall, Kurt and Bill for their sacrifice and expertise in this huge project! And to the Davis'...let's just say "I owe you big time" LOL...I won't publish the pics here, but you can see them on my facebook page. I have my futon room back, and I love being drawn to that special place of communication and intimacy with God. Of course I know that prayer can happen anywhere at all, and there is nothing "magical" about my futon, but there is something special about having that one place that is sanctified and set apart with that particular intent...seeking Him until He is found!

I am preparing and saving to journey up to Rhode Island in a few weeks to attend my oldest sister's wedding. For their 25th anniversary of being together, they decided to make it official and get married. It is a 17 hour drive, and while I have not totally given up on finding a cool airfare deal, it looks like driving will be my best option. Turns out that my bestest bud Marianne from Chicago will be there at the same time, dropping off her son for college. So having my car will be beneficial in getting around where I need to be.

I have requested that mid-September be my final time of being on a set schedule at the bookstore. That means that the weekends will be mine...I have never ever had a job that did not require Saturday commitments and I really really like the idea! Of course, I will still be around to help out with certain things like doing the billing once a month, but at least I will be able to work on MY terms, as MY schedule permits.

For now, I must go finish up some laundry, and hope to come back and blog again in a more timely manner.

May you be blessed today, wrapped in the arms of the One who loves you beyond words.

Buds to Blossoms

Not much to write, the pics say it all! Several years ago, I brought an Easter lily home from church and planted it by the mailbox...I have enjoyed it every year since!!

It's Only Family

Wow!!! Best intentions got thrown by the wayside, but I am going back to pick them up, dust them off, and reinstate them!! I simply cannot believe how fast time flies…
I have a lot to write to catch up, so it looks like I will not elaborate too much on each topic, and break it up into different posts. The first one I believe I need to catch up on was a real blow to my heart. I have had family issues as far back as I can remember, but this one takes the cake. A couple of weeks after Mother’s day, I received an envelope in the mail with no return address. When I opened it up, there inside was the unopened Mother’s day card that I had sent to my German mom up in RI. She had written “return to sender” on the envelope, but apparently the postman missed it the first time and delivered it to her a second time. To insure that it did not happen again, she put it inside another envelope and sent it on its way. A bit of trouble to go through to make a point, and I wish somehow that I knew what her point was. I have no idea what I did to deserve such an action, and my many phone calls went unanswered. The little girl inside who has only ever cried out for their love has been once again crushed. I have experienced the whole spectrum of emotion, and am at a place currently where I just have to lay my heart out before the One whose love is secure in my life. He can handle it all…the sadness, the anger, the bitterness, the injustice, the pain…He only asks that I give it to Him first, and this I am trying my best to accomplish.
I have an older sis who also lives in RI…same town actually, and they have not spoken in four years (so maybe it is not me?). This sister will be getting married in September, and if all goes as planned, I count on dropping by Mom’s place to see if I can at the very least get some kind of explanation for her unfounded action. Some people would encourage me to let it go…just write her off…but actually, I feel like confronting her would be a step of growth for this lifelong stuffer.

Rockin' 'Boo!!!!

As promised...here is a shot of my bamboo shoot!

The Hope of Life

Mercy!! How fun to be in the doghouse for not posting current news on the ol' blogspot!!

Unfortunately I won't be able to get into much detail at present. It is already 10:38, and I have much to do before I lay my head to rest...



For future blogs, you can look forward to some home reconstruction, my thoughts on "The Shack", and promising floral progress, (the lilies are looking strong!)

I love watching things grow, and there is a story concerning my bamboo plant on my desk at work. They sent out a notice several months ago that whatever we had on our desk could not show above the level of the cubicle walls. Uh Oh!! My bamboo was rather healthy and pretty tall...so I researched online, and asked people about pruning bamboo...but to no avail...no answers could I find. So I took my chances, and trimmed it back. I tried to keep the cut part moistened as much as possible, but it looked pretty dried out and nothing happened with it for weeks. I thought for sure I had killed it, and was really feeling pretty sad about it. Lo and behold last week, I was beside myself to see a sprout...and that little sprout is just TAKING OFF!!! Woohoo, you GO 'boo!! I will bring my camera tomorrow and get a shot so you can see what I am talking about. In this drama unfolding is once again the voice of a faithful God...LIFE...LIFE for things we think are dead...LIFE for malnourished and inactive dreams...LIFE in Him when we choose to take ahold of all that He has promised...it brings to mind again one of my favorite scenes in Pilgrims Progress...when Christian first makes his break from the City of Destruction...

"Now he had not run far from his own door but his Wife and Children perceiving it began to cry after him to return; but the man put his fingers in his ears and ran on crying 'Life! Life! Eternal Life!' "

Hardly anything is more invigorating than the hope of LIFE!

Inconceivable!!

A year and a half?? It has actually been a year and a half since I have written...WOW! If I had to reflect over that period of time, so much has happened...some good, some not so good. It has been a time of adjustment and new adventure, a time of soul searching and gut wrenching honesty. I have learned and grown, withdrawn and withheld, cried and cried out. Two main things that contributed to my condition were first off, emotional issues regarding family circumstances. The second being a church split. I knew I hated to hear stories of churches breaking up, but now I despise them. It is an incredibly painful experience when you are one who becomes incredibly attached. It wouldn't take much sometimes to get me missing people. But I knew it was affecting me way too deeply. There was something else happening in me. I prayed many times and asked God to help me see what was really going on. Wow!! There were all kinds of things that would surface as a result of that prayer! Step by step, healing along the way and with each day I recommitted myself to rekindle the flame of all that stirs my heart. Today's sermon was a good one for me, and another several weeks back from our youth minister. I am getting my LIFE back and it feels good!!

March marked the one year anniversary of my employment at Shaw Industries, and I am still working part time at the Christian Bookstore where I had been for just shy of 19 years. Bit by bit I am relinquishing my responsibilities there, and as I get my finances in shape, I hope to soon be working one job. I was talking with a friend the other day, and it struck me that I don't think I have ever had a job that I did not have to work weekends...lol...what in the world will I do?? Maybe plant more...I am so proud of my daffodils, and will have to post the irises and lilies when they arrive as well!


I received a call to be a part of the next Tres Dias weekend with Southeast Tennessee, and I am very excited about that. I had to turn down the previous two invitations due to the job situation. But now I once again have vacation time and am able to be involved.

I have many home projects ahead, one of which I just found out about today. There is a leak somewhere in my guest room (the futon room!) and I suspect it is coming from the seal on the outside around the door to the water heater. Should be a simple fix once the rain stops, but the carpet will have to go, and maybe the floor replaced. Compared to other things I have done, this will be a piece of cake!

For now I will have to close this post as I am meeting some gals from work for a night in Chatt town. Dinner at Tony's? Rembrandts? Mmmmmmmmm...

God's richest blessings on you!