Has a nice ring to it, wouldn't you agree? But what does it mean?
"done, made, or performed with purpose and intent"
I have adopted this word of late, mainly in reference to relationships. Life is too short, lifestyles too busy, and people too important not to let them know what they mean to us.
Things began stirring in my heart over a year ago in August, when we lost a well respected and loved member of our church. Then a couple of months later, another treasured friend died from cancer. But the biggest blow was the death of my younger sister, Lori, last October. The words I was hearing sent me into another dimension, almost, as my mom explained that she had died overnight in her sleep. The cause was not immediately known, but an autopsy revealed that she had suffered a brain anuerism. My youngest sister and I spent that week in Orlando with my folks. Meeting some of Lori's friends and hearing their stories gave me a glimpse of that part of her life that she never
felt at liberty to share with me. I have my theories about the distance that had crept between us, bringing us so far from the best friend status we experienced when we were little. I had moved away when I was 18, and our lives went in different directions. At the end of 1984, I made the decision to stop playing games with God and be a Christian for real. Over the years, I believe Lor shied away from sharing things with me because of how she thought I might respond, instead of giving me a chance to respond to her the only way I could have...as her sister. I loved her from a distance as I found myself moving to Georgia in 1989. I was proud of her for so many reasons. She made it through school and became a reputable and sought after hairstylist. She bought a house, and loved to travel. About 6 months before she died, she had called me to talk, and we had one of the best conversations we had ever had. How thankful I am for that phone call!! And it is amazing over the last year, how many things will turn my thoughts toward her. Sometimes driving down the interstate I will be blindsided by a thought and the tears cloud my vision. I do miss her.So in the mental processing of all three losses, a determination has risen within to seize the day, "carpe diem"...to be intentional...determined to follow through with every nudge to make a phone call, or send a card...or simply to hug someone's neck and tell them how important they are in my life. Flowers for the living. Love unshown is love unknown. We have the opportunity now...today...to say the things that need saying. Why wait, only to get lost in wishes, could haves and should haves?
Another area in which this word has affected my life is my relationship with the Lord. There have been way too many days that have ended with me crawling into bed, already half asleep, muttering something like "tomorrow...tomorrow I will spend time with You..." In an effort to reprioritize, I cleaned out my computer room, giving away my PC (I have a laptop that I use) and the desk. I turned the futon around to face east through the bay window. First thing in the morning, the sun shines through the blinds, creating quite a spiritually inviting atmosphere. I am very excited about the potential, and since the rearranging only took place a few days ago, will have to keep you posted in the upcoming weeks.
"Early in the morning will I seek You"...an interesting development, considering I am the farthest thing from a morning person!!!
Intentionally yours,
B
No comments:
Post a Comment